Events that are traumatic can feel as though everything we experience is “too much, too fast.” So we run like the gazelle in fear but without the essential piece of instinctual energy that “knows” that if we trust and follow our bodies, let them shake and tremble, we have a fighting chance of being okay in the end. - Cara DeVries
Trauma Is Not A Life Sentence
by Cara DeVries, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
“Trauma is a shock too large to
contain. Like a current too strong for the body to dissipate, it burns us as it
passes through. It disfigures the spirit.”
These words from author Cary Tennis,
while poetic with elements that seem achingly true, left me wondering: What else is true about trauma? I get it; living with trauma has its own
special suffering. One cannot help but feel some sense of disfigurement, some
betrayal of the body and spirit. Confusing at best, fragmenting and utterly
disorienting at its worse, trauma is a singular thread that runs through many
of us.
The good news about trauma is, as Peter
Levine says, “it’s not a life sentence.” This also feels true, as I’ve seen
over and over in my practice. Working
with Post Traumatic Stress in my clients, I know it is possible to find
containment and resiliency in the shock, to cool and soothe that burning
current, to find ourselves again intact and whole.
Working with trauma using the
bio-physiological approach of Somatic Experiencing has opened my eyes to the
infinite discoveries and delights of our animal bodies.
Picture the Serengeti plains of Africa.
A herd of gazelle is peacefully grazing, yet always vigilant, ready,
instinctual. A slight movement in the distance indicates danger. How do they
know it’s that big “top of the food chain” cat and not a falling leaf? They
know. Deep in the back of their brains is pure survival. They know, and in that
knowing, they will mobilize every ounce of energy available to run, to escape
and survive. Statistically, one in that herd will not make it, perhaps. But
there is still one more chance for that caught gazelle. As she brings her
breath and heart rate down to imperceptible levels by “playing possum”, our big
cat may lose interest and turn away just long enough for that gazelle to
escape, for now. Back with her clan, the gazelle will involuntarily and
instinctually shake off the excess energy and carry on. Without a complex human
brain to make meaning of the event, construct a story of fear and attach that fear
to the excess energy, she (and all wild animals) will not experience trauma
symptoms at all. It will be just another day of survival on the Serengeti.
But we humans are much more interesting
right? We have this big neo-cortex leading the way. Not a bad thing really;
except that we often leave our bodies behind. With trauma, this very leaving of
the body is our way of surviving. The body, rather than a place of
resource and refuge, is a dangerous place to dwell; full of anxiety, panic,
disorientation and fear. And it’s that fear that has us attempting to think our
way through the discomfort, if we could only run fast enough, be one step ahead
of time and ourselves. It is the fear that has us believing we can actually
trick time by anticipating every possible dangerous or not so dangerous
outcome. Events that are traumatic can feel as though everything we experience
is “too much, too fast.” So we run like the gazelle in fear but without the
essential piece of instinctual energy that “knows” that if we trust and follow
our bodies, let them shake and tremble, we have a fighting chance of being okay
in the end.
Trauma and its ensuing nervous system
dis-regulation are like killers for our soul. But here’s the irony: it is
through the exploration of that anxious and fearful body that with a skilled
therapist and lots of support and self compassion, we can slowly discover
(actually, its more like tripping over) our innate capacity for resiliency,
reclaiming our sense of ourselves, finally finding peace again. Inside every
body and spirit, even one that has experienced a traumatic event, there is what
Peter Levine calls our “innate goodness.” What a relief!
Cara is a
licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with offices in San Francisco and Marin.
For over 20 years, she has worked with children and their families in hospitals
and is currently piloting a program to help those families find the tools for
self-regulation in the aftermath of hospital trauma. She works with individuals
and parents specializing in Post Traumatic Stress. You can learn more by
visiting her website. www.caradevries.com
Labels: Cara DeVries, PTSD, Somatic Experiencing, Trauma
